I met with a woman last week who started a christian community development organization over 25 years ago here in Detroit. She has been living & serving in this city for over 2 decades. I wanted to meet with her because I figured she could offer me some wisdom on "how you do it!"
She's been through so much...she's been shot, robbed at gunpoint by people that she has helped... Her house has been open to all children of all ages who do not have a home. She has rich experiences in urban ministry.
Even though this woman has an extremely busy schedule, she sat with me at Starbucks for 2 hours to listen to my heart and hear my struggles with making Detroit home and with the constant discouragement of the "backwardness" of this city.
The greatest piece of advice that she could offer me was this-
"This is hard work, but your service is less about the people you are serving and more about you."
Well, that sounded selfish to me?!?! What?!
Basically, her challenge to me was that -God doesn't need you in order to care for the needs of the city of Detroit, but he chooses to invite you into this work that he is doing. Therefore, it's really about our response and our dependency on the Lord...it's about our obedience...about our sanctification (making us more like Christ). So, as we serve and as we are responding faithfully to the Holy Spirit and "doing it unto the Lord" then he will change us AND maybe the people will change and maybe they won't. I have to know I'm not responsible for that.
That's where my struggle is---I get so connected and enmeshed in it all that it defeats me and I find that I'm not really doing this for the Lord, but I'm doing it for myself. I even take it personally when my youth don't follow through with their goals or when they spout off at me for trying to help them! Then, I find myself emotionally spent, discouraged, and questioning "why God"? Ahhh, what a sick cycle.
I have no answers for how to "get there", but I do think that it must be a daily "renewing of your mind"--- replacing the lies with truth, overcoming the selfish motives with pure motives.
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So what she told you about how God doesn't need us, but he invites us into His work is TOTALLY what Eric was talking about on Sunday! And it's about what we talked about in our MACC group last night---- I really was struggling with that idea- but the way she put it makes so much sense!
ReplyDeleteLaurie, I love that you are blogging about this experience. I know it is challenging you in some really difficult ways. I'm so proud of you though. And the Lord is too. He's not disappointed that you've been discouraged. He knew that would happen. He's so in love with you, and has such a grand plan for your life, that He knew you had to go through this. Stay persistent, my friend. This will develop your character like none other. I love you! Brandi Michelle
ReplyDeleteGlad you're being challenged, Laurie! Inner city ministry is never easy, but I believe there is so much joy to be had when we serve God. I would say though that I feel the opposite of what your friend said. I feel like it's NOT about us. We serve to meet the needs of those who are suffering, because they are God's children just as much as we are. For me, it's the reverse order. It's about advancing the Kingdom of God and if we are sanctified through that, then great! And I believe that we will naturally be transformed through serving when it's easy AND when it's hard. But that's not a call to try to save everyone. It sounds like you are experiencing what most experience in an area where there's need everywhere. I would encourage you in love to find your niche, and set boundaries around what you are able to do. Your friend is right...God WILL take care of the others, but maybe he has put you in the lives of a few, or maybe even just one (in addition to Nick) to care for and be "the hands and feet of God". We are called to "Deny ourselves, pick our cross, and follow Him". I'm excited to see how you and Nick live that out, as you daily ask God how you can serve Him for the sake of His Kingdom.
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